Life Changing

I ended my last post, which was actually my very first post with something along the lines of - starting this blog will either be the best thing or the worst. either way i expected it to be life changing. 

but chances are its going to be neither. not the best things not the worst, like most decisions in our lives this will be without consequence, affecting my life in no way. i shall add to this blog day after day only for it to be hidden away somewhere in one corner of the internet never to be seen. or i give up on this faster the first reader who might have stumbled upon this blog. 

We are constantly told that our actions have consequences, but from the point  of view of pure numbers, i perform say 100 actions a day, including mundane ones like waking up, tying my shoes, rolling my eyes and other important ones like doing my assignment, going to class etc. out of all the actions i do in a day perhaps 1 or 2 have a lasting effect on my day, my mood, my life. 

and while you may argue the even the tiniest actions do affect my day in smaller ways, they wear off faster than any interest you might've had in this post. Which only goes on to prove that there is no such thing as life changing. every good thing, every bad thing every god damn thing that happens in our lives runs its course and is gone. and no i am not a cynical person in general (i promise, you'll see a lighter me in other posts) in fact i am the opposite. If you know me at all you'll know I am extra. I am all in or all out, no one waits for these life changing moments more than i do. but in the last couple of years through resounding success, miserable failures, losing loved ones, heartbreak, burnt bridges, new bridges? the one thing that remains constant is .... its not life changing. 

there is no surge of emotion that is going to take over you and then change who you are, there in no magical age you'll reach (18) and suddenly realize what it means to be an adult, there is no book you'll read that will finally get everything to make sense, 

yes, emotions and situations will take you on from time to time, shake you up and all encompass you. but eventually it will drain and when the wave washes off you remain the same miserable bastard you've always  been.

now you can see that as a good thing - that if nothing is life changing the bad parts wont kill you

or if nothing is life changing kya hi farak padta hai?

see it how you must, i do not know.

I am gonna watch rick and morty at 6 am cause, i do not need a reason.